Still Shadows
by TehChildishWolfie
Summary: Sequel To Silent Shadows. After attempting to kill himself, Eren finds himself in the last place he ever wanted to end up in. A full blown "Mental Hospital" What's worse? Levi is part of it. Everything he's known has been a lie. Was Levi's love for him a lie too? How will Eren react through all of this? Rated M for self-harm, violence, yaoi, and other things.
1. Opened Eyes

**Okay so for those of you reading this I suggest reading Silent Shadows prior to this because this is the sequel people.**

 _ **And you assume they want to read this one anyway..**_

 **SHH. I'm trying to start this series smooth and nice ):c**

 _ **Look how well that's going…**_

 **ANYWAY IGNORING YOUR RUDENESS, I think we're just going to plunge into this.**

 **I was talking a the few people who help me with ideas in writing this and such and we came to this conclusion for the second series so, without further ado~**

 **Still Shadows.**

 **^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^**

 _ **Flashback**_

 _Without even realizing it, I was standing in the doorway of my own house. My house. The house I grew up in, good memories and bad._

 _My hands trembled as I close the door, thoughts plaguing my mind as I couldn't get away. After all, how can you get away from your own thoughts._

 _I want it all to end. I want to stop thinking, I want the sadness to end. I want this all to end._

 _Again without realization I had slowly made my way to the kitchen, and picked up a steak knife, in cold trembling hands._

 _I can't go out without apologizing at least._

 _I opened my phone slowly and dialed the first number, shakily raising it to my ear as I stared at the sharp knife._

 _"Hello?"_

 _Levi's voice startled me, as I choked back a sob, putting the knife to the side._

 _"Eren? Eren are you there? Answer me brat what's wrong."_

 _I closed my eyes as a hand made its way to my mouth, silent tears slowly trickling down my cheeks._

 _"I..I'm sorry"_

 _I whispered into the phone, more tears slowly gliding down my face._

 _"F..forgive me.."_

 _I slowly picked up the knife, putting the phone down on the floor as I sat there against the cabinets._

 _"Forgive you for what? Eren? Eren! Speak damn it! Let me know you're okay!"_

 _"G..goodbye Levi…. I'm sorry."_

 _Before I knew it, the knife was in my side as I let out a surprised yell at the coldness of the small blade._

 _"Eren! Eren where are you! Speak to me! Let me know you're okay!"_

 _"Stay with me.. Until I fall asleep..."_

 _I dropped to my side with a sickening sound as I started at the picture in my phone, a picture I had taken a few nights after we had slept together, when he was looking at the sunrise. It was a beautiful picture, I was proud of taking it._

 _I was glad that it would be the last thing I saw._

 _"Eren! Eren I'm on my way. Come on Eren.. Say something damn it! Anything!"_

 _Darkness slowly started to cover my vision as I smiled staring at the phone, my lips parting to whisper._

 _"_ _ **I Love You…"**_

 _And with that, everything was dark, and I was once again, alone in the silent shadows._

 _ **End of flashback**_

I opened my eyes gently to be greeted with blinding light.

 _Did I succeed? Was my pain finally over? Was I finally free?_

My heart sank when I tried to move, only for my wrists to be harshly greeted by restraints.

 _No…No No No… Shit…_

Panic started to slowly rise as I rubbed till my wrists were numbed by the rough strength that bound me to the stiff bed.

The room almost made me nauseous with the bleached smell and the painful look of the white walls.

 _Shit… This can't be happening… I have to be dead.. please let me be dead._

I struggled until the sheets came off, as I took a sharp breath, my side burning with intense pain.

My eyes narrowed as I remembered what had happened, and before I knew it tears are brimming from my eyes and down my face as I choke out a sob.

 _Levi… I'm so sorry…_

I wish I had been successful in my desperate attempt to die, though I knew this was mainly my fault for not having a better plan.

 _They were going to give me up to a place like this anyway…_

I thought, my despair quickly turning into rage, feeling betrayed. My heart lurched as I heard a knock on the door, and I struggled for a second longer before someone came in the door.

A man wearing a doctors coat walked in calmly whom I supposed was supposed to be the doctor as he walked over with a stern face, sitting in a chair and wheeling over.

I stared back at his blue eyes with pure hatred. I was slightly taken aback as his stern face switched to a cheerful smile in a split second.

 _The hell is up with this guy?_

"I'm Erwin Smith I'm going to be your case worker, your doctor, your den mother… you name it I'm the guy Mr. Jaeger."

I snorted, already annoyed with him as I rested my head on the pillow, ignoring the searing pain in my side from which I knew I'd stabbed myself.

"You know you gave us quiet a scare… We almost thought you wouldn't make it.."

He looked over as if to see how'd I'd react and I simply looked over matching his stern eyes that couldn't be hidden behind that smile of his.

"I wish I didn't.." I hiss, clenching my teeth tighter as pain shoots through my right side.

He smirks softly, approaching with some medical supplies.

"You're as stubborn as Levi said you'd be.." He mutters, and I freeze at the mention of the name.

"Where is he.." I choke out unintentionally, sounding more pathetic than I'd like it to be.

Erwin gives me a sad smile and cuts the bandage, starting to dab softly at the swollen wound.

"You know.. he cares about you more than you'd like. And honestly when he called a week prior I almost tho-"

I cut him off, any concern for Levi suddenly replaced by rage.

 _I knew it. I fucking knew it._

"A week prior? So no matter what I fucking would have done I still would have ended up in this damn-" I'm cut short as a hand is on my shoulder, the smile replaced with a firm look, before he continued his work.

"True you would have been here prior.. though probably on better terms. We have been watching you Eren… we do care. And it isn't Levi you should be mad it. You should be thanking him. He's the one who tried to save you. Those other two friends of yours tried to commit you earlier but you're father was in the way.."

He'd finished putting on the bandages as my mind started to spiral out of control.

 _Does he mean Mikasa and Armin? Would they really betray me like that…?_

I tighten as Erwin sits back in his seat, jotting a few notes.

"Now we're going to wait a few days before decided where to place you for care."

I don't look up as my tongue lashes at him, spitting out the words like they're acid.

"The hell's that supposed to mean."

He sighs softly, putting his clipboard down.

"Well… You'll be either placed with Stationary Medical Co…or….."

I stared at him not in the mood for these petty wastes of times, as I looked out the window.

"Or?" I waited impatiently as he let out yet another sigh.

"You'll go where Levi works. The Wings Of Freedom Mental Hospital"

My eyes screwed shut, as I hissed under my breath, heart broken.

 _Was his feelings for me a lie? Was he just there to watch my every move like a fly with a broken wing trying to jump into a cup of water…?_

Without opening my eyes I try my best not to lash out insults

 _Fucking bullshit. I won't believe. I won't believe everything I've known is a lie. That everything good that's happened to me since my father's been gone is just.. shit._

"Who else.."

I muttered quietly, barely audible as I tried to calm down.

"Excuse me?"

He leaned back in his chair causing a surprisingly irritating squeak.

"I said who fucking else. Who else have you planted in my messed up fucking life. Well? Mikasa and Armin are they fake too? Are they part of your sick little game with my life?"

I suddenly lost it, as I glared over with burning rage in my eyes. He starred at him with a black expression, slightly reminding me of Levi, before I was brought back to my original thought.

"No. You're two friends were not apart of the.. surveillance, although they had contacted us a month before. They _do_ care for you Eren, they worry very much. I hope you know that. We all just want you to get better."

That's when I lost it. I was so fucking done at this point that I thought I was going to pass back out.

"Are you fucking serious? Get _better_? I'm not sick you sad fuck. There is nothing wrong with me!" I started to pull on the restraints once more, boiling over with anger.

"This is all bullshit! Worry for me? _Care_ for me? If you knew one god damn thing _about_ me you'd WISH I'd kill myself long before! I have suffered for so long and when I finally get a chance to decided how _I_ want my life to go, you _take it away from me"_ I hissed angrily.

I had gotten more and more worked up that I hadn't even noticed Erwin calling in someone to help him out.

I suddenly realized he was there as he approached me with a needle in hand, determination plastered on his face.

"Get the fuck away from me damn _robot_ " I spat as I tried to move but remained fastened by the restraints.

"You just need to calm down." Erwin sighed, taking all his notes and work and putting it in a folder, waiting for who ever the fuck had the needle finished.

"If you move more, It'll hurt more"

I glared at him angrily as stuck the needle gently in my arm, surprised when I didn't feel anything because of how careful he was.

"Thank you for assisting me Bertolt.. This one is going to be a bit of a challenge.."

I spat at Erwin as I was hit by a wave of drowsiness, continuing my angrily rant though my speak now slurred.

"Shut the fuck up you bitch… You don't know.. anything"

Or at least that's what I was trying to say. It came out more as a soon drunk mother fucker sound like this.

"Shhhhut the fwuck up you… you bitchhhhh… Y..you don't know any tin…."

And before I knew it I'd laughed for a moment about how I said 'tin' and was lost to the darkness once again falling to slumber.

 **^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^**

 **Mk so that took longer than expected and I can't really make a proper farewell since I need to quickly post and head over for some work out because of a shitty friend who's making me work out for swim team.**

 **Anyway guys I'll see you in the next post! Bye~**

 **Wolfie**

 _ **Oh okay so I just don't get a say in anything I understand..**_

 **Shhh no one likes you.**

 _ **Rude ass moth-**_

 **OKAY bye guys! ^-^**


	2. Stitches

**Okay so 1. I'm fixing the summary** **today** **. Not gonna stall, promise**

 **Currently I am listening to Arctic Monkeys while trying to focus so I already know I'm going top be so distracted trying to write this.**

 _ **Right cause you're totally not distracted with drooling over someone working out in front of you. Mhm. Yes.**_

 **1\. Stfu**

 **2\. I'm not drooling I'm gawking there's a difference**

 **3\. I think the guy I'm looking at might be like 17 ;_; so there goes that.**

 **OKAY so I will be posting after this one soon so not to worry, I'm actually going to be posting.**

 _ **RIP Soon**_

 _ **It never came..**_

 **Stfu.**

 _ **Is that the only think you know how to say?**_

 **SHH. Okay let's do this before I** **actually** **lose my sanity in this argument with myself..**

 **^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^**

By the time I had awaken it was dark in my cozy little… room after I had my little 'nap'.

I silently cursed to myself as I looked to the side at the open window, thanking whoever left it open. At least I wouldn't have died of boredom.. which wasn't the preferable way I'd like to go.

 _Though that could still be an option.._

I yawned looking around the mostly bare room and sighed, there wasn't much to do since I was strapped to the brick hard bed in the cold room.

I started to think to myself of everything that had happened and it suddenly hit me.

 _Everything I've known for the past few months, have been all a lie._

I thought back of everything that has happened and suddenly everything made sense.

He remembered the time he had asked about his father to Levi, shocked his father had been caught and Levi's simple response was that he had "connections".

Were these connections? The fact that he had proof from watching my pain and misery? I didn't understand why he had done the things that he did. Then I suddenly had another realization.

 _Armin and Mikasa were the ones who called me in? How could they betray me like that?_

My two best friends that I had practically known since birth, within a matter of seconds turned their back on me.

Before I knew it I started to sob quietly to myself, letting the world melt away. I didn't want this, I didn't want this heavy feeling in my chest. I gasped for a breath as tears streamed down the sides of my face, as I unconsciously let out a small cry.

 _Pathetic_

I thought as I listened to myself. As much as I wanted to stop crying, I just kept going, splitting pain in my side from the stab wound as my body shook with every sob.

I wanted everything to end. Then pain, the feeling, the betrayal, the memories, I wanted it all to end. I wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, to just lie there and die in my sleep, not having to worry about another damn thing.

 _Is this what my life has become? Just lying here and crying like some helpless child?_

I suddenly started to cry more as I continued to think to myself. Small whimpers into full blown tears and all. But I couldn't help myself. As much as I wanted to just remain quiet and rot away, I couldn't stop.

It had started and wouldn't end, and before I knew it, something warm touched the side of my face.

It caught me off guard as I sucked in a breath harshly, quieting. My cries had turned to whimpers, as tears continued to stream down.

I opened an eye slowly to see the worried face of Levi, as I let out a sorrowful rumble escape my throat.

"G..get away from me you d..damn liar.." I managed in a whisper, as he just continued to stroke my forehead. As much as I wanted to hate it, it was comforting in a way, causing me to get quieter and quieter, though my tear continued to roll down into the pillow.

"Hush brat before you wake others and your dumb ass gets sedated.."

 _Wow. Thanks for the words of empathy. Wait, was that what I wanted from him? His sympathy? Hell no. I wanted him away from me._

I pulled weakly at a restraint as I started to get louder again.

"Don't touch me… Don't touch me!" I knew I was acting rashly which probably wasn't helping my scenario, but the last person I wanted to be here was Levi, yet at the same time I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to melt away all the pain and hold me like he used to. I wanted to feel safe.

"Why…. Why did you lie to me…?" I whimpered, staring at him with every emotion I was feeling. Anger, Hate, Betrayal, Sadness, Loss, Confusion, and Regret. Such a wave of strong emotions that I felt sick.

"Eren…Please. Calm down…" He once again touched my shoulders but I pulled away, hysterical.

" **No!"** I screamed, pulling on the restraints hard as I could. I couldn't stand this anymore, this empty feeling in my chest that made me want go numb.

"Damn it stop before you rip your stitches!" Levi suddenly raised his voice, with one swift strong weight on my shoulders to keep me sturdy on the bed.

"You're sick Eren. You need to face it. You tried to _kill_ yourself for god fucking sake. Doesn't that bother you in the slightest..?"

I started to hush as I stared up at him shocked. He looked like he was about to cry. The emotionless plastered face started to chip away as he kissed my forehead.

"I just don't want to turn anymore.." I whispered, closing my eyes, feeling overwhelmed with confusion.

"I..I thought things were getting better… but they were going to take me away.." I let out in a hoarse voice.

"I didn't want to live without all of you.. I didn't want to feel the pain anymore. But you betrayed me…" I sobbed, now quietly as his head rested on my chest.

"You were part of them.. Implanted in my world like some fake house plant. I thought for once I was loved _truly._ But it was all fake.. Do you know how much that hurts?"

I whispered, starting to feel the pain in my side increase after thrashing about so much.

"I'm sorry Eren…. Originally it was just a job but… I _do_ love you… I want you to know that."

"I wish I could believe you.." I whispered, before crying out in pain, the pain in my side too much as I could see dark red slowly staining the bandages and white scrubs.

" _Fuck"_ Levi hissed, getting up so fast I barely recognized it, as he clicked a red button by the side of the bed.

Pain burned through me as it felt as though acid was seeping into my lungs with every breath, every beat of movement.

"I..it hurts.." I whispered, my tears stopping as I suddenly help unnervingly calm, watching blood slowly spreading through the cloth.

"I told you you'd split them damn it.. I _told_ you.." He hissed, pressing on the wound, trying to stop it from bleeding. Why was he so angry? I didn't understand, it wasn't him who was in pain, so why did he look so hurt?

My breath caught as I saw how rushed in the door with medical supplies, my calm feeling replaced with annoyance and more betrayal.

"Hurry the fuck up shitty eyes!"

 _The fucking science teacher? Are you fucking serious? Was anyone real anymore?_

"Sorry but not everyone can pick up everything that they need in under five damn seconds." She giggled, which only seemed to piss Levi off more.

"No… Stop…" I whispered weakly, starting to feel woozy as Levi gave a concerned face and blocked my view, staring me in the eyes.

"He's starting look pale. Let's go before he fucking loses his fingers damn it." He hissed, and before I knew it I felt a pinch in my arm to see Levi injecting what must have been some anesthetic before I slowly closed my eyes and lose consciousness.

The moment I woke up I felt oddly calm, though I suspected I was still under some slight anesthetics as I took a deep breath. My eyes narrowed as I lighted my head slightly to see Levi's sleeping head on my legs.

My wrists and ankles were rubbed raw after all the trashing I had done the day before. I looked to the side watching the sun rise as I thought of the picture in my phone. The one of Levi staring at the sunset right after he'd confess he'd loved me.

Now it was just a painful and distant reminder of what I thought was real. When did everything become so fucked up? I tried thinking back to happy times when I was a kid with my mother and father. When everything was real. I thought of mother, and sighed, trying to remember why she left us. Why would she ever leave me? Her only son?

I winced a sudden memory tried to submerge, though too hazy for me to understand.

"Fuck.." I whispered, wishing I could at least rub my temples, my eyes, the bridge of my nose. Anything, after all that always seem to work for everyone else.. right?

I looked up slightly at Levi stirred, yawning quietly and rubbing his eyes. Sort of cute in it's own little way..

 _Fuck cut it out. Don't think like that anymore. For all you know he's just another heartless cold bastard._

"Morning…" He muttered, groggily getting up and pulling out his phone.

"Morning." I muttered bluntly, my wrists moving nervously under the restraints, full of what felt like a rug burn.

He looked over in the corner of his eye and started to call someone, nodding to me slightly before walking out the room.

" _Have they decided yet?"_ I heard him talk outside the door, feeling a little self-conscious about eavesdropping seeing as last time went _so_ well.

" _And? Where are they going to place him?"_

Place him? Place who, me? Where were they going to place me? I suddenly remembered about was Erwin had told me earlier, deciding which "branch" I was going to end up in.

" _What.. Like now now? He's not ready now! Can't they wait till he's at least not as shaken? They're going to write him off and ship him off to those god damn buffoons!"_

Panic washed over me as I started to once again struggle under the restraints, wanting to get the hell out of here.

" _Damn it fine. But I swear to god if anything fucking happens to him I'll kill them all. Every single one of those Titan bastards.."_

Titan? What the hell was he talking about? Before I knew it Levi walked in with a grim expression, walked over quickly to my bed.

"W..what are you doing.." I muttered, as he undid one of my restraints.

"We're going to decide who's care you're going to be in.." He muttered, not looking at me once.

"Aren't I like a danger to myself..?" I scoffed, suddenly defensive of the situation at hand.

"Exactly why you're going to be in this." I snorted as he pulled out a wheelchair, with restraints at the wrists and ankles.

"You're fucking joking right…?"

He looked at me with his normal bored expression as he muttered "You should know I hardly ever joke."

I gave him a cold glare back as I sat in the chair, letting him one again 'tie me down'.

"Yeah I _should_ know. But everything that _I_ knew had been a lie so far.."

I thought I'd caught a glance of a pained expression in his eyes but shrugged it off, not able to see his face as he went behind and opened the door, scanning his card. And with that, we left, slowly down the hallway to decide my _fate._

 **^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^**

 **Okay so that took WAY too long to make, that was three days of writers block for you guys, I hope you're all happy. Also apparently shoulder and should are two different things but auto correct wants to be a douche and not tell me. So. Yeah.**

 **Anyway I hope you guys like this chapter I put a lot of effort into making this and don't forget to follow, fave, and comment about the story.**

 **Also don't be afraid to ask for anything you'd like to see in this or any suggestions you have, I'd love to hear them.**

 **I even do collabs for story boards in case you're interested ;3**

 **Well bye guys! I'll see you next chapter .w.**

 _ **Oh okay just write me off I get it. I don't**_ _ **have**_ _ **to appear I supposed. I'm just *sniffle* an extra..**_

 **Stfu you rude bitch = ^ = Don't act innocent..**

 _ **Ouch… that hurt my nonexistent black soul… I think you may have to kiss it better.**_

 **Go to hell =-=**

 _ **I would but it seems you've already beat me..**_

 **=-= So done..**

 ***Coff Num Coff***


	3. Trial

**COUGH COUGH IT'S 11:27 LET'S GO.**

 _ **Bu-**_

 **NO**

 _ **What abou-**_

 **NO SHH YOU'RE DISTRACTING MEEEEE**

 _ **WAIT BU-**_

 **NOOOO *DINOSOAUR SCREECHES***

 _ **You know dinosaur mean I love you in English…**_

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

Anxiety slowly built in my stomach as we passed through the hallways. Every time we dropped down a level it seemed the other patients were less and less…. violent.

 _Shit and I'm almost at the top floor what the fuck does that mean for me?_

I decided to focus on something else rather then notice stupid things as I turned around to ask where we were going, only to be surprised when I saw two _different_ people holding the chair.

"M.. …?" She gave me a wide bubbly smile as I looked to the person next to her.

 _Who the fu-_

"W..what's he doing!" I cranked my head farthest away from him as he started to sniff my hair. That's right, fucking sniff my fucking.. hair…

"Oh that's Mike. Relax, he just likes to sniff ya.. Though I doubt it'll cause any harm!"

I tried moving farther away only to have him come closer each time, making me feel more and more… claustrophobic? No... self-conscious.

He gave one last _sniff_ before giving what seemed to be an approving nod and walking back into step with _Hanji_.

"Where are we going…" I muttered quietly, looking around as the corridor seemed to be an ever more bleached white than before. "And where'd Levi go?"

She let out a long annoying self-satisfying sigh before actually responding, letting out a jumble of words I barely could understand with her talking so damn fast.

"This is you're trial obviously where members of the council and a few other people who somewhat know you're condition are going to decide you're _fate_ but I guess you can't really call it fate per say but more like where you're going to be getting treatment if any at all.. ANYWAY Darius Zachary the man who's going to be in charge of your trial? Yeah well he's going to decide if you're going to be taken into the care of Stationary Medical Co. ORRR"

She only stopped to take a large inhale of breath before starting again, though I barely understood what she'd said the first time anyway so this was just as rambled with never ending sentences and weird shit that I barely understood.

"You'll go to The Wings Of Freedom Mental Hospital! Which is where Levi, Erwin, Mike and I work of course.." She snorted, giving a split second before continuing.

"Anyway the trial is to determine weather you're mentally fit to go to prison for attempted murder or if you have an actual case that needs to be solved. Basically kind of like _either get the help or die in a cage_ kinda deal" She made a face while saying this, laughing to herself before suddenly going into a straight face.

"Then there are the Titans.. The _beasts_ who run this damn horror show. They are a new type of testing program per say to _fight off_ 'mental sickness'. They use people such as you Eren and make them into someone they're not. They strip them of who they are and they become these.. monster's of science… what was meant to help sickness is making it worse, threatening their emotions and turning them into these violent personas of mass destruction. They're the guinea pigs of the new word my poor boy, and you might have already gone through them.."

 _What the hell was she talking about? I couldn't understand barely anything other than this was a trial deciding weather I get_ _ **help**_ _or_ _ **time**_ _. Which I admit, I wanted nothing to do with neither._

I opened my mouth about to ask a few questions about the trial and about where Levi had gone when suddenly we're at giant wooden doors.

"Oh too bad, we're already here.. So sorry to take up your time Eren.. Good luck."

She gave me a sad smile which I definitely could have gone without when the doors are suddenly open, and my restraints are being undone.

 _Shit. What's going to happen. What are they going to believe?_

I slowly was led into the middle of the room only wearing my white scrubs and somewhat handcuffs meant probably not for my safety.. but for the others in the room.

I hated every minute of it, the eyes staring, judging me coldly like some wild animal. I felt like a circus animal being booed at because I didn't jump through the damn ring of fire.

To be honest, I wanted to drop dead. Instead of feeling like the tiger I felt like the meat in the middle of the cage, though honestly, I'd rather get fed to the tiger than be kept in a cage as one to be gawked at and judged.

I stood there in the middle of the room as I look around slightly, the church was behind us, along with what I presumed was the Stationary Medical.. people to my right and the Mental Hospital to my left, seeing as I could see Levi and Erwin in the front row.

I looked behind me to the left side when I caught the glimpse of a red scarf and froze.

 _Fuck. No.._

Mikasa and Armin were sitting in the witnesses booth, looking at me hopefully. I didn't want them to see my like this, with bandaged wrists and lost eyes, so I quickly looked away from the two of them and starred at the judge.

I presumed he was the Zachery guy Hanji was talking about when he suddenly looked at me dead in the eyes.

And with that, I zoned out into my own thoughts, not really caring what happened to me or not as I kept my head down most of the time. I didn't want to hear my whole life story about all the shit that'd happened in my own life.

I wanted everything to be done with, when after a while I suddenly heard something that caught my attention.

"Seeing as the boy has no further family anymore with his mother being dead and the father in jail-"

"She's not dead." I interrupted, staring at him evenly square in the eyes.

"Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow, as if daring me to speak again.

"She's not dead." I simply said again, slightly confused on what the fuck they were talking about. My mother wasn't dead, I watched her leave with my own two eyes. I remember the day clearly too.

Grisha had gotten home late that night from work when I suddenly heard yelling. I'd gone down stairs to see what was the matter and didn't remember much, other than the fact watching her leave us, never returning.

He continued to speak, this time deliberately talking about _how_ she had supposedly _died._

"Carla Jaeger age 34 when she died suddenly due to a titan experiment mishap."

I starred at him with somewhat rage starting to bubble, as I suddenly didn't want to hear anymore, feeling sick to my stab wound. _(Get it—Stab wound.. heh..)_

Anyway, I continued to listen carefully at each word he'd spill painfully slow as if it were a popsicle that was melting before you could even get to it.

"Eren Jaeger, son of Carla age 10 suddenly went on a rampage trying to attack his father Grisha Jaeger after arguing with Carla in a topic that seemed to upset the boy. Boy attacked father causing him to have extensive hemorrhage on various places on body, also knocking the father unconscious. Seemingly right after the father had left to get treatment another Titan experiment broke into the house and murdered Carla Jaeger in front of Eren and his friend Mikasa Ackerman, known to have been practically raised by the family. Eren's memory seemingly to have retained after the incident and has no further recollection of the event. Decision made to have Eren believe the mother had left to prevent further trauma.. end of report. Now, anything else you want to blurt in Mr. Jaeger?"

I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to believe a word he'd just said, in front of everyone. I didn't care that they knew, but I should have been the first to know, I should have had that closure. If she was dead, then why was I still here? Wouldn't I have protected her? I would never have just left her there to die. No wonder Grisha beat me. It _was_ my fault she was gone, and I didn't even know.

"Now.. upon the incident with Carla Ja-"

Rage bubbled over me as I interrupted, the only protection around my wrists rubbing so furiously at my skin, they started to burn the flesh away, as I suddenly interrupted once more.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed with all might. "I'll kill them.. every last fucking one of them! _They_ are the reason everything is fucked up isn't it? Then why the fuck do they still exist! My mother is not dead. There is no way in HELL I'd leave her to just fucking die! Why type of fuck person would I be?! She's not dead and you have no **fucking** right to speak her name. You bastard of a pig you-" A cough sputtered from my lips as I was suddenly on the ground, not given a second to process what had happened.

I coughed as I heard people gasp behind me, a chair scooting across the floor in a hurry of which I presume was Mikasa getting pissed over something.

I slowly looked up and starred shocked at an emotionless face of Levi, as he lied on top of me, my arms pinned behind my back as he held me by my hair.

"What are y-"

"Shut the fuck up" He hissed whispering, as I lied my head on the cold floor and tried hard as possible to keep from crying.

The whole court was quiet for a while, until the judge (or at least that's what I thought he was) stood, called the meeting to the end, and left without another word as I watched in silence, shaken at the thought of my outburst.

What the hell was I thinking doing something so uncalled for? Then I realized the purpose of the anger in the first place. My mother was _not_ dead. I knew it deep down inside. Or at least I thought I knew, after all, who was I not to protect the only one who had ever truly loved me?

 **^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^**

 **Okay so I'm like tired AF right now, it is currently 1:41 AM and… fml.**

 **I do have to warn you guys though I am probably going to be gone because of thanksgiving but you never know. I try to stay away from my family anyway so I'll probably see you very soon if something else doesn't pop up. Also I'm sorry I haven't been in touch I had to go to a funeral the other day for a very close friend of mine that had passed, so I'll see you guys next time.**

 **R.I.P**

 **Timothy H. Lewis**

 **June 2, 2000 – October 27 2015**

 **We will always remember you like a brother, a close friend, and someone who always wore a smile.**

 **After all, like you always said: Suicidal People Are Just Those Who Want To Go Back Home.**

 **Don't know where you stole that from you bastard but I fucking loved you.**

 **Bye my friend.**


	4. Escape

**Okay so sorry I've taken a little while to post to you guys, I've been procrastinating SO badly you have no idea.**

 _ **Tsk tsk... so off task? Big bad wolf is back...**_

 **Stfu I need to focus.**

 **So thanks to Num, Kyra, and (Wild Dick) for helping me on this and collabing with me for ideas and different writing styles!**

 _ **Which you probably won't notice cause we won't change jack shit**_

 **NOT TRUE LAAAAAAAA**

 **Okay here we gooo~**

 **^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^**

It wasn't until a few hours had passed that after lying in my room that I'd finally thought up a plan. I tested it slightly by twisting my wrists against the bandages from the sensitive flesh from the previous attempt with the restraints.

 _They're not as tight... Did someone so this on purpose or is it that they didn't want to hurt my wrists?_

At the thought of the that I rolled my eyes. Didn't want to hurt me my ass,someone was just being a dumb ass, but that works in my advantage anyhow.

I started to slowly work at the right wrist, squirming and pulling trying to slip out till I managed to pull away.

"Fuck yes.." I whispered under my breath and undid the rest of my legs and arm.

Quickly I jumped out of the bed and raced over to the door to be found with the shattering realization of the scanner by the side of the door.

 _It's locked..._

My heart started to race as I heard people talking outside the door. Within a another moment to think about what I was going to do I redid the straps quickly around, making sure they were all loose. With that I quickly got in the bed, redid the blanket over my legs like they were before I turned my head to the side, closing my eyes to make it seem I hadn't woken yet.

The door opened quietly with the sound of someone shuffling inside, muttering quietly about sedatives being too strong. I waited a little while, ignoring whatever the person was whispering with annoyance.

 _They say I'm fucking crazy, can't he stop talking to himself? god this guy's getting on my fucking nerves..._

Not waiting another moment to listen to his stupid mutterings, I jumped up to be surprised with breath-taking grey eyes. I stood there for a moment and stared at Levi, his face somewhat twinged with confusion and anger.

I wasn't going to wait for him to act, so with out a moment to lose I pulled him on the bed and as fast as I could did two of the straps on his wrist.

 _That should be enough..._

"Eren! Eren! _Fuck.._ undo them damn it! Let me up brat." I ignored his stern words and looked at him, suddenly consumed with anger.

"Why the hell should I? You wouldn't have let me up would you? Oh that's right because I'm _sick_ " I spat "You know what? _You're_ the ones fucking sick. Labeling people like they have.. no they **are** some desease!"

I didn't understand why I was so angry but frankly I didn't give a damn as I grabbed the ID card from his chest pocket. I started to back up toward to the door and watched as he thrashed around like an animal, yelling at me and for someone to come help.

"And you said I'm sick..." I muttered, scanning the door, ready to make a break for it.

"Eren **STOP**." Levi yelled sternly, making me flinch asI held at the door handle. "You're sick. You're SICK damn it get ahold of yourself. Just fucking accept it so we can _help_ you. Can't you tell we're doing this to help you brat? Or is your mind just too fucking **_sick_** to understand that!"

Furious, I scanned the card again and opened the door without hesitation, and making a break for it. Without thinking about where I was going I ran past nurses and doctors, racing past handlers, Military Co. people, other patients, but they didn't matter.

I caught a glimpse of a sign pointing to the exit and made a sharp turn down a corridor only to be blocked as I fell backward.

"That hurt~" I heard someone moan groggily, a hand suddenly appearing in my face. "Well don't just stare at it. You gonna take it and get up or what?"

I looked up at a girl with food in her mouth, smiling down with a stupid look on her face. I pushed her hand away and got up myself, when someone runs over suddenly and I flinch.

"Sasha! You okay? Did this guy hurt you?" He turns to look at me accusingly though he doesn't look quite sure of himself. "This..tall... guy..." He clears his throat.

"And what are you gonna do? Karate chop him to death?" She snorts, imitating a kung-fu sound. "The only this you could ever hurt Connie, is a butterfly.. not even!"

Before I could really wrap my head around the situation 'Connie' changes his expression as he looks at me up and down.

"Let's go.." He mutters, and it confuses me even further at his sudden change in demeanor. "He's got grey scrubs, hurry up before we either get killed or worse.. in trouble." She looks at me and nods, stepping closer to him as they both walk past me. How was getting in trouble worse? What was this place..really?

I turned just in time to see Levi leading a few other people in my direction. They looked furious as hell and it was obvious they weren't coming over to show me the way out.

 _Shit!_

I knew I probably wasn't going to make it but I honestly didn't give a fuck. If they were going to take me I at least owed them a show. Without needing second glance, I looked around and saw the object I most needed in this situation.

 _This is a hospital after all right? They should be more careful of who they bring in.._

I smiled to myself slightly and grabbed a scalpel off a tray. It was probably abandoned from when everyone fled, or this had to be a really shitty hospital.

Sadly my fun ended quickly as I ran into another room, misreading it for another corridor. I scanned my surroundings but was forced into a corner as Levi and his _team_ I suppose entered the room, looking serious as all hell.

"Put the scalpel down!" The tallish one yelled.

"Put it down!" A man stepped closer, looking like some one who didn't really belong here.

"Eren give me the scalpel!" Petra screamed at me, which hurt even more. I thought she was the only one not in on this, yet here she was, with the rest of them.

The blonde man stayed silent but had the same stern face, though I was shocked at what happened next.

Levi stood in front of me yelling for everyone to calm down.

"You're all not going to make the situation any better by screaming your fucking heads off. You're just going to set him off." He was surprisingly calm for the situation, but I still kept my distance. Before I thought it could get any worse, Hanji ran into the room, grinning madly.

 _And they think I'm crazy..._ _ **Says the one holding a knife..**_

I shook my thoughts as looked at them all, as they slowly eased closer, still yelling.

"Isn't that right Eren?" A stern voice knocked me out of my thoughts.

"Huh? What?" I looked at Levi still a little shaken as I held the scalpel tightly in my fingers.

"Damn it brat... Put the scalpel down. Aren't you just scared? You're just defending yourself isn't that right?"

I caught on quick as I lowered the scalpel from my person, looking at them and realizing how much hate and fear they had in their eyes.

"Right..." I muttered, handing him the scalpel slowly, then backing up back into the corner, my eyes cast down in shame. I thought of how Petra looked at me with those eyes.. regret and hatred filling me. _Those_ eyes... the look you give to monsters. Monsters like me.

With that Hanji coached me gently to come with her as I followed slowly, out of the room and down the winding hallways. There was so much hatred in my soul toward myself for acting out so stupidly. To actually think I could leave just like that, and with no consequences as well was pure stupidity on my part.

Why the hell did I even bother living.

 **^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^**

 **And that was a lot harder than you all think seeing as 1. The only thing I had help with was ideas =^=**

 **2\. I started this at like 3 and this is now ending 10:57 PM EST..**

 **3\. I had so much road block on this.. not writers block, just me getting so distracted and writing so slow.. it's not even funny**

 _ **I thought it was funny. You took fucking forever.. and you barley did jack shit most of the time**_

 _ **Bye..**_


	5. Let It Out

**Okay so I felt bad that the last chapter was a little short so I've thankfully out of the kindness of my heart.. decided to post another chapter. Probably. Maybe. We'll see.**

 **Nice promises there Wolf…**

 **Shush shush I am a busy person with a busy life.**

 **By busy do you mean getting distracted in video games and Netflix?**

 **...Yes ;_;**

 **Well putting that aside *sniffle* Here you guys.. *sniffle* go..**

 **Jesus… pull yourself together**

 **NO. YOU'RE MEAN. ;~;**

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

You know where a kid and you got mad at your parents for not letting you have a cookie, so you got the damn cookie anyway and got in hell of a lot of trouble for it? Well that was sort of how I felt, amplified times one hundred, also instead of a cookie is was a something sharp, and the cookie they said not to have? Kinda more like "Don't kill yourself or else" situation.

It had been a few days of me lying tied to a bed to finally cool off and be a "good little psycho" but what could I say, I guess I'm just sick that way.

After all that's what everyone else says, so it must be true. Isn't how the world works now? Sure as hell seems like it.

A few hours had passed as I waited for what seemed more like days. The blank white walls were starting to make me uneasy. And honestly, they were sickening.

My head turned slowly as I heard the beep of the door opening, with Levi walking in along with his group of merry men..

"What do you want…" I muttered softly, all anger in my dissipated, filled with.. a big emptiness inside.

"We just got the trial decision." Petra burst out, stepping forward with a small leeward look at Levi.

"And…? As much as it doesn't matter with me as much as it should.. I'd like to know if I'm either going to hell with you or the damn circus."

The comment probably wasn't necessary though I didn't really give a rat's ass. As much as I didn't really care for their little results of the Trial,

I suppose I have to at least pretend like I gave a damn. It is about me after all, how could I not care? Easy, by not giving a fuck. If this was a contest I'd claim myself a winner 'cause damn I didn't give a flying shit. What was this all about again? Oh shit the results.

By the time I'd realized I'd zoned out, Hanji was next to me smiling crazily.

"Well?! Aren't you excited..?!"

I stared at her lost in the conversation that had just happened as I looked at the people behind Levi who looked like they honestly didn't really give a fuck as to why they were here.

"I'm sorry excited for what exactly…?" I whispered, casting a another anxious glance at Levi by habit.

I flinched slightly as Levi sat next to my side on the bed,and started to undo my straps.

"Well brat… If you were listening to the news you obviously haven't give a fuck about.. You'd know that you're coming with us. Everyone go get the van and everything ready, I'll make sure he gets changed without fucking hurting himself."

I rolled my eyes as I sat up from the bed, rubbing my sore wrists after the restraints had been tightened due to the last little… incident.

I watched as the others left in a somewhat hurried matter before I realized the uneasiness growing inside me that I was going to be here with Levi. Alone. Getting changed. While he watches...me.

"Well brat? The clothes you're going to wear are over there in the closet. Take off the clothes you're wearing now and let's go. We don't have all day you know."

I cleared my throat as I took my shirt off, walking over to the closet. Neatly lied a long sleeve white shirt, eggshell jeans, and bleach white boxers. White. Fucking fantastic, my favorite god damn color.

A small snort of disgust came out of me, suddenly followed by a soft whimper as Levi touched my side.

"Does it still hurt..?" He muttered, tracing his finger around the bandages gently, his face unreadable like usual.

I pulled away and picked up the ugly shirt, putting it on slowly. "Hell ya..why the fuck do you want to know. Not like you care." I hissed, knowing the words probably hurt him. Then without a moment to lose I was suddenly pulled in close, his breath hot on my neck.

Without any realization we were suddenly on the bed, as he hovered over me.

"Don't ever…. say that I don't care Eren. I love you way too damn much to keep having you push me away because you don't want fucking help." He spat on me, his expressionless face clearly hiding anger that screamed in his eyes.

"Well maybe it's because I don't want your help. I can take care of my own damn self…" I muttered, turning my head to the side to look at something, anything, just not his eyes. His beautiful grey eyes that burned through me like a painless acid.

"You may not want my help.. but you need it brat. Does taking care of yourself involve killing yourself killed? Because if it is you were doing a hellova job Eren!"

The words he spat out hurt so much that it wa beyond my understanding as to why. Why was he so angry. Why did he care. Why do we keep getting close just to hurt each other again and again. Why.. the question I always ask though I know I'll never have enough in me to actually find out.

Once I finally realized Levi was quiet again as soft cold hand touched my cheek, wiping something off. I looked up at him, feeling my face flush as I suddenly realized I was.. crying.

 _Why the hell am I crying?_

"I'm sorry…" He whispered softly, lowering himself on top, resting his head on my chest.

"I should have been there for you… I should have known something was wrong. This is all my fault.."

The moment he said those words, everything that I had been keeping in for so long poured out, as I let out a small whimper, turning into a quiet sob. He maneuvered gently, causing me to sit in his lap as I simply sat there and cried my heart out.

He just kept soothingly whispering I was going to be okay as he rubbed my head softly.

"It hurts…" I choked in between sobs, holding tightly as his clothes. The wanting feeling in my chest starting to go away, along with the loneliness and the pain. I felt safe for once since I had met Levi.

"It hurt so much..!" I sobbed slightly louder, as I let it all out, letting it all pour out. Every bit of anguish, every stab of anger, and the river of helplessness which flowed so strongly within me.

I started to quiet down as I continued with a few whimpers, still holding tightly though my grip was getting loose as I started to feel tired. Before I knew it, I was already asleep in his arms, waking up now and then lightly to see Levi.. sort of.. change me (if you call a grumpy short man yelling at pants to get on another person's legs A+), then a glimpse of getting carried to the van.

When I had waken up we were pulling up to a giant old/new looking building.

"Mm.. Where are we.." I muttered, rubbing my eyes, though opening them to see Hanji's face close up to mine.

"Okay No…." I whispered, quickly moving away as she laughed to herself before whispered,

"Sorry I'm just so excited! It's not every day we get a new patient.. Well we do but not under our group of handlers personally.." She snorted at her own "joke" (If you call it that) before sitting down and grinning, falling asleep a moment after.

Petra and the somewhat older funny looking gentleman were looking through cook books together next to her, while blondie and cone hair sat beside me on both sides. Blondie was staring intently at the wall probably thinking about how to handle me while cone hair was passed out drooling on himself like a fool.

"Are we almost there..?" I mumbled, still tired from exhausting myself. I could see Levi's eyes in the mirror up front before I turned to Petra,who suddenly started talking.

"Oh you're awake? We're on our way to the Wings Of Freedom Mental Hospital.." She softly mused giving a sad smile toward my direction.

I didn't want her pity so I focused on something else, looking outside the only window in the back. When they said van.. I didn't expect a damn generic rape van.

I sighed, resting my head back and closing my eyes. When did everything go wrong? How did everything get so fucked up? I started to think back in school when I first was in school. I remembered when Levi helped me after getting in a fight with Reiner.

I smiled thinking of how he helped me.

 _How he saw your cuts._

How he took Grisha out of my life.

 _With his so called "connections"_

How he stopped me from fighting Reiner back..

 _Stopped you from being a danger to others ring a bell?_

When he held me tight, and told me everything was going to be okay.

 _Ever heard of stalling? You were close to the edge and you know it._

I clenched my fists tightly on my legs as I cleared my throat slightly, all my memories starting to taint in my head. I was losing myself, I could feel it, the darkness that was starting to shroud me.

My eyes flung opened as a hand touched my leg gently. I looked at Petra who was giving me a worried glance as she smiled. "Eren.. Calm down okay? We're almost there."

"What do you mean calm down? I am calm. I'm very calm." I muttered, trying to loosen my grip on my legs, though with little success. I suddenly noticed everyone looking at me with half grim faces, including Levi in the front seat who kept glaring through the mirror.

"Alright.. Alright.." I sighed, relaxing slightly, my hands letting go and coming up in a defensive position with my hands up. "See? Perfectly calm.."

My sleeve fell at the perfect fucking moment to see the scabbed traces of slices graced across my wrist. I looked away, quickly pulling my sleeve down roughly, not wanting to see the pitied faces knowing they saw.

Shit... I didn't know he took off the bandages!

Without a moment to lose, the van slowly came to a stop at what looked like an old/newish giant building. It almost looked like one of those old generic loony bins from the movies. Though that definitely wasn't the case when we walked in.

"Well! Here we are!" Hanji smiled, racing past me to go talk to some other doctory looking people. "Guess we are.." I muttered softly, walking in escorted by everyone else.

"Come on... I'll show you to your room." Levi looked over at me, leading the way. "R..right." I called, trying to follow close behind.

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

 **UHGUGHGUHGUGH**

 **So this was supposed to be posted on the 5th but, you see how well that turned out**

 **But.. Here we go, the fifth chapter!**

 **You know this chapter took a little longer than expected, but that's okay..**

 **Couldn't have been from getting distracted every five seconds nooo..**

 **Thanksrat..**

 **Though I do have to warn you it might not be as often. Things have kinda been happening lately so I don't really know if one day I'll just.. stop.**

 **Also you guys should send lots o love cause I literally had to copy and paste out of that weird mofo code and paste back in the right way, which was hard af for me, JUST BECAUSE I started typing in the wrong thing inside copy and paste so it wasn't in the document. So half of this is from that DAMN CODE.**

 **But hopefully it won't happen again SO**

 **I love you guys, Thanks for reading!**

 **Bye..**


	6. Marco Bott

**Okay so just for you guys, I started writing this in pencil and paper at school so love me.**

 **On the other hand..**

 _ **Our dumb asses got caught and in the middle of talking about "genital infections" we were told to "Stop taking dick notes"**_

 **;_; You didn't have to tell them…**

 **But anyway here we go, hopefully I'm in the zone cause currently I'm listening to Aot opening 2 cause.. it's bad ass.**

 _ **Opening 1 is better**_

 **Well did I ask you? No. So stfu.**

 **WARNING: I'm going to fuck with you in this chapter ;3**

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

"This is going to be where you are" Levi lead into a large common room closed off. It looked like an average living room if it hadn't been the fact there were doors leading off to what I presumed were bedrooms.

"Group therapy is every Thursday, pills come at noon, and daily therapy will start once we figure out your schedule" He talked firmly as he walked into one of the room, waving for me to follow.

I dropped what little bags I had as I took in the room, Levi unpacking my things as I examined everything. It wasn't much of a change from the hospital other than a chestnut dresser and a small cushioned chair next to the wall.

"The others rooming here are currently at group therapy, they should be back soon. You'll be missing today obviously seeing as they're halfway through and it's best not to interrupt." He commented as he finished setting everything up neatly before walking back into the common room and heading toward the door.

"If you need anything there's a green button on the side of the wall and a red one across the room if there is an emergency. The room is mostly proofed so.. try not to get into what little trouble you can brat?"

I nodded as I stood in front of him, watching him turn to scan his card to leave.

 _Sht, there goes my means of escape.._

I mentally noted, not noticing I was still following him till I felt a hand touch my shoulder.

"Are you listening brat? I said you can't follow me outside. This is for _your_ safety. Unless someone comes to take you to therapy, you're going to lunch, or god forbid a fucking fire.. **stay here."**

My face flushed as I looked away embarrassed, feeling stupid for such a dumb ass obvious mistake.

"Hey.. Everything's going to better now. Aright? I'm going to get you better.. I'm going to keep you safe." I nodded, my heart pleading him to stop talking as I felt tears start to form in my eyes.

"Come here brat.." He whispered, pulling me in for a hug, as I sniffled.

"Please don't leave…" I whispered softly, holding tightly to the back of his shirt.

"I don't want to be alone.." I bit my lip, trying to cry as best I could.

He lead us over to my room, setting me in the bed as he got in beside me. "Shh.." He whispered soothingly, brushing my hair between his fingers.

"I'll never leave you.. Never again.."

Before I knew it, something warm touched my lips, and I opened my red eyes to see Levi kissing me gently. I closed my eyes again, pushing my lips into his as our tongues fought for dominance for a while, before he won, his tongue exploring my mouth.

"Promise me.." I broke the kiss to take a breath, as he recaptured them not even a second later, a hand slowly coming up my inner thigh.

"I will _never_ let you go.. brat" He smirked devilishly and I suddenly found the small kindle of love I still had for him that had locked itself away since I woke up.

His fingers slowly made their way under my shirt, a cool finger touching my nipple as I shuddered letting out a breath.

"A..am I interrupting?" I froze as Levi slowly looked up to see Petra in the doorway, trying hard to contain her laughter.

"Yes." He flatly said, not bother by the fact we were just caught doing something rather _indecent_ on the current 'predicament' we are in because of myself.

"Well.." She let out a small distorted chuckle. "The others are waiting outside with…" She laughed again.. "Erwin to introduce Eren.. Thought I'd let him know before I went looking for you but.. I guess I'm killing two birds with one stone." She suddenly lost it, bursting out laughing "Or should I say making lemonade with two ripened lemons!" She continuously laughed in the doorway.

"No one says that.." I whispered, covering my reddened face.

"Well no use now.. Let's go Eren." Without getting a say, my arm was pulled and I was already out of the bed, getting dragged to the door.

"Why couldn't I have had an isolated room.." I accidently muttered aloud, with Levi smirking in front of me as I covered my mouth, accidentally slapping myself in the process.

Petra took a moment longer of wiping tears and rubbing her sore cheeks from laughing before she finally opened the door and told the others to come inside.

"Eren… meet Bertholdt, Connie, Sasha, Historia, Ymir, Annie, and Marco" Erwin said as he stepped inside.

A few of them simply nodded, though the two I had met earlier in my little.. exploration.. walked over to greet me, along with two others who I didn't know.

"Hey you're the fuck up trying to escape from the hospital!" The brown haired girl yelled.

"Yeah the kid who was just wearing _grey_ scrubs Sasha.. can we go back to our room now? This one just looks like trouble." He stuck his tongue out immaturely before walking away, the girl named Sasha waving, shoving food in her bother before following whoever the hell the asshole was.

"Don't worry about them.. those two peas in a pod are always getting in trouble together more than I can even count"

She seemed nice, though I was reluctant to trust her seeing as last time I trusted didn't get me too far.

 _Though you did get laid.._

I didn't even bother to go down that thought, so I quickly shook it out of my mind before telling her and freckles there that I was tired.

Soon as I actually lied down I realized how tired I _actually_ was, not bothering to change into the probably more mediocre bleached clothes.

"god damn it.. Why'd Petra have to interrupt.. Why'd I have to end up here.. Why'd my life get so fucked up?" I groaned as I buried my face into the pillow.

I heard a knock on my door as I turned, looking at the white door, half annoyed.

"I'm sleeping!" I called half-heatedly, not really in the mood to bothered.

"Sorry, thought you might want something to eat.. they flag you for more things if you don't eat.." I watched as _freckles_ walked in with a tray of food, "Plus.. I want to talk to you about.. someone you know." He scratches the side of his face nervously as he sits on the red cushioned seat.

"If you're gonna be like a prison movie and ask me for like.. cigarettes for protection.. I am not going to be your bitch. If that's not what your gonna ask, talk all you want."

He chuckled in a somewhat understanding of my joke then got serious, his smile still on his face.

"Actually.. I used to go to middle school with ya, you were even my neighbor."

I spit out the bitter juice that he brought on the tray and looked at him in somewhat disbelief.

"Marco..?" I looked at him more than just the freckles and suddenly made the connection, as he let out a somewhat hearty laugh who I thought got shipped to boarding school for the last 3 years.

"This is where you've been? Jean told us all your crack shit parents sent you to some.. boarding school or something."

He smiled, looking down as if he was remembering something important. "Yeah.. I asked him to cover me while I was gone.. though at the time I didn't think I'd be gone so long.."

I thought he was laughing till I looked up to see tears go down his face. Instinctively I jumped up over to him, wrapping him into a hug.

"Hey.. what happened? Why are you here.. you don't deserve something shit like this.."

He sniffled, keeping his smile as he looked up at me.

"You're a really good friend Eren.. but I'm pretty sure deep down you know the reason why.." He whispered, resting his head into my shoulder to rack out a few more silent sobs.

He was right, I knew damn well. His parents were two faced shits that pretended they were christian as fuck, though if anything, if hypocritism was a religion.. they'd be the fucking priests.

So much for _love thy neighbor_. It was a month after Marco came out that he began dating Jean. They were cute together, it was nice to see the two of them happy. But as soon as his parents found out they shipped him off to what we were told by Jean "boarding school". Guess that was more bullshit to add to my list.

"So this is where you've been? Can't you prove you're not psychotic or something? There's no way you just ended up here just because you like guys.."

He shrugged, as I handed him a tissue, sitting on the edge of my bed as I got ready to listen what he was about to say.

"They ugh.. called in a few favors.. faked a few shit.. and pieces kind of fell into place with them. I thought I'd get out eventually but.. things kept getting darker for me. The day they came to pick me up I… decided to give them a show I suppose.." He smirked, I suddenly looked closely in the dark room to see the bags under his eyes, and the echo in his eyes of what used to be there, he'd completely given up. He was way past the point of return, even I could tell.

"I slashed my wrists, right before I was sedated. Thought maybe if they thought I was crazy, I might as well act as though I was."

Something wasn't right with him, I could tell deep in my gut that I needed to get away from him. Something was wrong and it made me anxious,the type you feel deep within every fiber of your body to run, get away.

"Hey ugh.. t..tell Jean I love him.. alright? I can't ugh.. get visitors but, I'm sure you can find a way.." He smiled at me like nothing was wrong and I pretended I didn't see the darkness in him as I walked him to the door, before he said something very disturbing just before walking out.

"It was nice to see a friendly face right before I leave… Though I wished I could see Jean one last time.. Take care of yourself Eren, okay?"

I nodded to him, shivering a bit not understanding before I let him leave with an exchange of goodnights before I finally went to bed.

In the morning I had gotten the horrible news of what had happened and I understood what he meant.

" _I wish I could see Jean one last time…"_

I imagined his smile as two doctors lead away a bed, a wrapped body underneath the white cloth.

Marco Bott was dead.

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

 **Okay honestly I'm too tired to make a proper goodbye**

 **And I spent all day working on this so be thankful**

 **I love you guys a lot annnnnnnnnd**

 **I'm tired as fuck um..**

 _ **Can we go to beeed~?**_

 **WAITTTTT.**

 **Sorry to fuck with you guys with "THEY'RE GOING TO FUCK. YES" to suddenly "Ohay Petra how long've you been there?"**

 **Anyway G'night!**

 _ **This is why we all have trust issues.**_

 **Don't mock me I'm too tired =-=**


	7. I'm An Ass

**I'm in Japanese class right now but I have jack shit to do right now therefor**

 **Throughout the day I guess I might as well work on this**

 _ **Well I mean since you have no friends and all you need**_ _ **soooomething**_ _**to do right?**_

 **Stfu you lonely piece of potato you're part of my head**

 **If I have "no friends" then you don't either.**

 _ **Hey if I'm part of your head does that just mean you're not only fucking nuts :)**_

 **Eh….Ju…. Go to hell ;-;**

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

Marco Bott was dead.

I watched as they slowly wheeled the body in a sickening looking hospital bed out of our area, like he was some deceased patient.

Marco didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve to come here to be poked and prodded for a _sickness_ he sure as hell didn't have.

"He only had a few more weeks you know…" I turned around surprised to see Jean in the hallway, flowers in his hand. He was going to see Marco..

For the first time I truly had felt sorry for him.

"We were going to go off somewhere… together. Join the Military Co. college.. He always wanted to go." His hands were shaking as petals fell. He stood there, just watching, as the love of his life was taken down the hallways for the last time.

Those bastard of parents were probably burned their poor fucking son. That's just what they would have done. Probably make this crooked ass funeral that only certain people could come to just so they could purposely exclude those of us his parents didn't _approve_ of. It'd probably be a nice ceremony, other than the fact our beloved friend wasn't there, and he'd be ashes in a fucking tiny ass box.

"Jean.. you alright?" I heard someone say as I looked up, to see him visibly shaking extensively.

"I.. I think I'm just going to go.." He croaked out, as he stumbled to the elevator, the pink and white roses he held in a bouquet on the floor in ruins.

 _Shit.. What the hell is going on with everyone around me?_

Seemed like everyone I knew in love were either falling, or holding tightly to a breaking branch. And I was one of them. Though if I was going to be honest myself (which I wasn't) I was holding onto a leaf not a branch.

I stumbled back a bit as I tried to take in what just happened. I looked up and saw everything distorted. Black was everywhere, it was all I could see. Black figures roamed around, brushing into me, some were surrounding Marco as he continued down the long.. hallway..

 _The hallway.. is longer.._

I fell backward onto the floor as I sat there for a moment, listening to murmurs I couldn't make out.

I watched as the figures grew muscle, and somewhat flesh. They roamed around aimlessly, moaning, and gurgling.

"G..get away.." I whispered horrified to the figures as they slowly approached. " **Get away from me!"**

I screeched as I covered my face, trying to stop the tears roll slowly down. This is what had become of everyone. This was what I had to look forward to, an assortment of flesh and bone that stumbled around aimlessly with no direction, no future, past, present.

" **EREN!** " One of them screamed and I looked up to see a beast in front of me. The muscled monster looked face to face with me as steam slowly rose from his mouth.

I backed into the distorted wall behind me that moved like liquid as I stared in horror, the monster slowly crouching forward, as I hear voices in the distance getting louder.

" **HEY! Hey Eren! Come on brat come back to us.. Hey!** "

 _Levi?_

I stared confused as suddenly light flooded everywhere, as I looked I looked at the ceiling.

"Come on.. Wake up.. You're okay you hear me? Open your eyes Eren.."

I looked over at him confusingly as I realized I wasn't in the room I was just in.

Petra, Hanji, Erwin, and a few others stood around with concerned looks on their faces.

"W..where am I?" I whispered, my voice hoarse and scratchy, sore as if I'd just sang a two hour opera.

"Eren what do you remember?" a firm voice rose, and I looked to see Erwin walk over to the bed I was lying in.

I was genuinely confused at this point as I tried to touch my head, it was throbbing intensely but, I couldn't. Something was stopping me from moving as I looked down to see what the problem was.

 _A fucking straight jacket? Are they shitting with me?_

I struggled around before Levi touched my shoulder. His face was so serious. What had I done?

"What do you mean do I remember. The fuck you all looking me like I'm some disease or something.. and why the fuck am I in this?" I struggled again, despite Levi's hand on my shoulder, his pleading eyes telling me to stop though his face hard like cement showing no emotion to the others.

"Eren please… stop." He whispered in a gruff yet soft tone.

I didn't understand why everyone was so freaked out, till I realized something wet on my forehead, that seemed to be covered by a suffocating cloth.

"Eren. Listen carefully, you tried to kill yourself. Understand?" Erwin's voice startled me as I stared at him like he was crazy. I was _just_ standing in the common room area.. how the hell did I kill myself in such a "safe" place?

"You ran into the bathroom. Remember? You smashed your head into the sink.. you fought us until we had no choice but to sedate you.."

I glared at him dangerously as I listened carefully, realizing I was shaking.

"And..?" I muttered, waiting for anything else they were going to leisurely let me know.

"We know that.. you and Marco did know each other before… he was admitted therefore we've taken into account that-"

"That what? That we may have.. infected each other? That he triggered something in me? Didn't you ever once fucking find out _why_ he was admitted? Why he _truly_ was admitted? You're just like his fucking parents. If things didn't go their way, they'd label it as faulty and ship it out of their sight. You want to know why he was admitted? Because his fucking parents didn't like the fact he loved another _man_. That's fucking why. You all think you can fix anything by drugs and talks.. but you can't fix something that's not broken damn it. All you can do is make it worse."

I didn't really know why I was ranting, but I didn't want it to stop. All the anger that had built up since my mother left was just boiling out of the pot.

"You call us all sick but then what does that make you all? I can't take it anymore! I can't take all you lying pieces of shits that hide behind your bullshit of who's sick and who's not. I may be _sick_.. but then what the fuck are you all. What was Marco. Was he _sick_ too? Was he _sick_ for being in love with another man? Because if that's the case then you should be dead and not him."

I didn't even realized I'd start to direct this as Levi, but it was too late, the words had already came out my mouth. His facade because unreadable, even for me. Then he patted Erwin's shoulder, nodded, and walked out of the room.

"Eren you're going to stay here for a day or two before you can join the others again. Therapy is at noon." Erwin calmly said, though I didn't meet his eyes. I didn't look at anyone. I just nodded slowly and curled up, my head resting on my knees.

Petra unbuckled the jacket just before leaving and with that, I was all alone, left with nothing but my thoughts..

 **Flashback**

" _Hey.. Everything's going to better now. Aright? I'm going to get you better.. I'm going to keep you safe." I nodded, my heart pleading him to stop talking as I felt tears start to form in my eyes._

" _Come here brat.." He whispered, pulling me in for a hug, as I sniffled._

" _Please don't leave…" I whispered softly, holding tightly to the back of his shirt._

" _I don't want to be alone.." I bit my lip, trying to cry as best I could._

 _He lead us over to my room, setting me in the bed as he got in beside me. "Shh.." He whispered soothingly, brushing my hair between his fingers._

" _I'll never leave you.. Never again.."_

 **Rewind**

 _"I..I'm sorry"_

 _I whispered into the phone, more tears slowly gliding down my face._

 _"F..forgive me.."_

 _I slowly picked up the knife, putting the phone down on the floor as I sat there against the cabinets._

 _"Forgive you for what? Eren? Eren! Speak damn it! Let me know you're okay!"_

 _"G..goodbye Levi…. I'm sorry."_

 _Before I knew it, the knife was in my side as I let out a surprised yell at the coldness of the small blade._

 _"Eren! Eren where are you! Speak to me! Let me know you're okay!"_

 _"Stay with me.. Until I fall asleep..."_

 _I dropped to my side with a sickening sound as I started at the picture in my phone, a picture I had taken a few nights after we had slept together, when he was looking at the sunrise. It was a beautiful picture, I was proud of taking it._

 _I was glad that it would be the last thing I saw._

 _"Eren! Eren I'm on my way. Come on Eren.. Say something damn it! Anything!"_

 _Darkness slowly started to cover my vision as I smiled staring at the phone, my lips parting to whisper._

 _"I Love You…"_

 **Rewind**

 _I dragged my feet as I followed Levi into the house my head down in shame._

 _It suddenly hit me like a rush of cold hair._

 _Nothing is wrong with them…. It's me that's something's wrong with.._

 _I started to tremble as I quickly ran upstairs into the nearest bathroom while I listened to Levi explain to Petra while we were back home so quickly._

 _Not meaning to, I slammed the door loudly as I rushed to the toilet, feeling it slowly coming. My throat was warm as I tried to hold it in long as I can feeling nauseous._

 _Have I been treated so badly my whole life I don't recognize kindness anymore? Am I that blind?_

 _I gripped the rim of the toilet as my stomach tightened, and I threw up. I coughed as my throat burned from the acids of my stomach._

 _Make it stop_

 _I prayed as my stomach tightened once again for another round. I choked slightly at the warm lingering taste in my mouth as tears started to run down my face._

 _Don't cry damn it… Don't let them see you like this. Don't let them see you weak!_

 _My stomach churned into fear this time as I heard pounding on the door._

 _Petra…_

 _"Eren? Are you okay? Open the door!"_

 _I didn't answer as I was already throwing up again, my throat seemingly on fire._

 _Go away damn it… I can't have you see me weak.._

 _My heart almost stopped as Levi's voice suddenly boomed from the other side of the door._

 _"Damn it brat, open the door before I kick it down"_

 _I was about to respond by yelling at him to go away when I suddenly threw up again, stomach feeling as though there was nothing left inside to come out. I was terribly wrong._

 _I threw up once more, coughing and sputtering before Levi suddenly kicked down the actual fucking door._

 _How strong can this damn grumpy dwarf be…?_

 _Was my last thought before I hurled once more, Petra coming to my side and rubbing my back gently._

 _"Shh…. Relax. Just let it all out… It's okay Eren we're here.."_

 _I coughed violently as I shakily tried to get away from her._

 _"Y..you can't s..see me like t..t..this…"_

 _I sputtered as Levi suddenly came over stomping angrily, and I automatically put my hands over my head protectively._

 _"Damn it Brat…"_

 _He muttered. Shocked I opened my eyes slightly to see him looking as though he was going to cry. What happened to the tough façade? Where was the emotionless man I thought I met?_

 _"What the hell have you been through these past years….?"_

 _I let out a puff of air I didn't know I was holding in, as tears streamed down my face._

 _I tensed as he leaned down beside me, hugging tightly._

 **End Of Flashbacks**

"Eren… Come with us we need to talk to you about something.." I opened my eyes to see Petra and Hanji in the doorway, looking grim.

"W..what is it?" I muttered softly, looking up and walking over to them groggily as I rubbed my eyes. I wasn't really in the mood for any more bad news.

"It's about Levi."

With that, my whole world came crashing down as I stood there dumbstruck.

"What about him..?"

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

 **Heuheuheu.**

 **Okay so this took two days to make so you're welcome. (almost said seldom..)**

 **Anyway so my friends and I were skyping and talking about this chapter while they read it a bit and suddenly I looked back as see..**

 _You call us sinks but then what does that make you all?_

 **Me: '-' *SPONTANEOUSLY LAUGHS***

 **So I stopped writing and my friends I drew a bunch of sink related AoT shit**

 **My bad..**

 **But I thought I would leave with a cliffhanger though since this has a lot of flashbacks**

 _ **Yeah nice going genius**_

 **Well Bye guys~**


	8. Car Ride

**Hey guys so I'm really sorry I haven't been on in so long :c Things have been SO busy..**

 **So I decided to switch it up a bit since I'm returned and trying to get in the swing of things an all THEREFORE:**

 **I'm going to do a fuckin' LEVI'S POV (hold your gasps) cause I got something BIG planned.**

 **So grab your tissues and I hope you enjoy!**

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

 **Levi's POV (odamn)**

"Levi wait! Please, why are you taking this so personal?" I heard Petra run after me.

"Damn it you just don't understand! Did you see the way he fucking looked at me? So hateful and ..and scared. I shouldn't have pushed him. This is all my fucking fault damn it."

For the first time since I was a spoiled child was acting as though I just broke a vase and I knew I was about to get my ass whooped. What was so special about Eren that got my blood boiling?

"I say let the little shit throw a tantrum, it'll serve him right. Teach him right from wrong for a change! He'll learn quickly how things work around here, the more tantrums the child throws the longer he has to stay here."

"Fuck off Auruo. This doesn't really concern you, the whole point right now is to _help_ Eren remember? Petra interrupted him, I just kept walking. I wasn't really in the mood for the normal bullshit.

"Why don't we all go get something to eat then come back and check on him, I'm sure the kid 'll cool off after a bit. Plus none of us have eaten in a while.." Gunter suggested to Petra and the others.

 _God fuck.._

"That's a great idea!" Petra ran up next to me, "What do you say, like old times? It'll just be us having a nice meal with nothing to worry about.." She smiled.

"What a pain.." I whispered, nodding as I could already feel a migraine coming on. I needed to forget about that damn brat for a moment.

 _And forget your_ _ **love**_ _for him as well?_

I shook my head, sighing as I nodded to Petra. She beamed proudly as if I'd just allowed a 9 year old to have their first phone as she pulled out her keys. "I'm driving!" She put a thumbs up to the others.

"Hell no." I muttered, yanking the keys from her hand and walking out over toward the door, nodding to the guards as the buzzed us out.

I heard a few snickers and suddenly felt like a mother driving her kids to a girl scouts meeting as I sighed softly to myself and got in the car. "Hurry up we haven't got all day.." I muttered, trying to play off the fact I just realized it was 12:30 AM.

"Remind me why the hell we're going to go eat dinner at fucking 12:31 AM?" I sighed, pulling out of the hospital parking lot.

"Because… we're hungry and we haven't eaten?" Erd suddenly spoke up from the back, looking just as tired as I felt.

I let out a sigh once more, this time covering up the fact I was yawning and started to drive, "Where are we heading anyway?"

"Mom's Kitchen*!" Petra beamed, Auruo nodding, with Gunter and Erd's stomach just growling in agreement.

"Alright then…." I muttered, taking a turn into the more heavily trafficked part of where we were.

"Wait it's right there on the left. _You'reGoingToPassIt_!" I was interrupted, causing me to take a sharp turn into the parking of _Mom's Kitchen_.

"Jesus don't gotta scare the shit out of me, what if crashed." I hissed, as she nervously laughed.

I looked back to see Auruo clinging to Erd, while Erd and Gunter clung to the roof rails*.

I sighed, getting out of the car rolling my eyes. "Don't be such wimps.." I sighed, getting out of the car and walking toward Mom's Kitchen.

"See that wasn't that far away?" Petra breathed a sigh of relief as she got out of the car as if she hadn't nearly killed up with her "warning".

I shook my head as I walked inside, looked like fucking Popeye's. Where the hell were we?

"Remind me why we didn't just order food in the hospital cafeteria or just went home and let Petra cook? Aren't you in cooking classes.." I muttered, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"Wasn't the whole point coming here to get _away_ from the hospital.." Gunter nervously laughed, trying to support Erd who was still shaking from our "near death experience" of a horrible thing called "navigation"

"Next time we go out to eat can we leave me out? I think I need to lay off the death with a side of road rage please.." Erd muttered, Gunter rushing over like a fool with water as if he'd just been in a traumatic accident.

"Can we just get our food and leave? This is starting to become a pain." I muttered quietly, slightly annoyed with the whole situation in general, and still a bit fuming from earlier.

"Eh? But we haven't even ordered anything!" Auruo rushed over.

"Well then as soon as Petra's done ordering we can take our food to go. I don't want to be gone for too long." I sighed, finally sitting down.

"I don't think so. I'm not getting back in the car just yet.." Erd muttered, looking like he was about to blow chunks.

I already had grabbed everything as I sat ready for Petra "Fine. But you better shove the food in your damn mouths.."

I rubbed a plastic knife on my thumb as I thought to myself, looking out the window, thinking of life before everything happened. Before Eren, Petra and the others, Forced to work at the hospital, even before meeting-

I stopped myself from meddling with things in my mind that shouldn't be dealt with at the moment.

Petra was smiling as she came over with a tray of food, trying to balance another. "A.. A little help?"

I stood sighing, grabbing the one with the most food on it and walking over, setting it down.

"Damn this is good.." I muttered, taking a bite into my chicken.

"I know right? When's the last time something ever tasted like an _actual_ home cooked meal.." Petra grinned, eating her fucking _salad._

"Better than eating fucking powder potatoes and mystery meat.." Auruo mumbled as he messily ate his food.

I scoffed in disgust, already a bit disgruntled by the greasy meal I was eating, but watching _him_ eat was a whole different level.

"Close your fucking mouth when you eat, will you? I'd rather have your food inside your mouth than out.." I hissed, mildly annoyed.

He shrugged, continuing to eat loudly, now probably doing it on purpose as he smiled at me, a piece of corn falling from his mouth.

He yelled as he bit his tongue, furthering his look as a moron as I looked at him panic over the small cut on his tongue.

"Well I'm done eating." I sighed, pushing my food away, utterly disgusted as a bit of blood landed on his food.

"Same Here…"

"Same.."

"Right here too."

Petra laughed a bit, even though she'd just given up half her "meal".

"You were kind of asking for it Auruo. You can't deny that.. That's kind of what you get for mocking him.." She laughed, standing and taking the keys.

She spun around to look at me, starting to head past me "Alright…" She sighed "Let's head back before they call out a search for Levi in the closets." She winked at me.

"Hey watch it I'm still your superior.." I grumbled, striding behind her, Erd and Gunter not-so-happily following behind while Auruo rushed past with about thirty damn napkins in his mouth.

Soon as we all got in the car, we all buckled quickly and immediately grabbed the roof rails for safety, Petra taking her sweet damn time.

"You sure you want to drive…?" I asked again, actually a bit scared to be in the car with her behind the wheel.*

"You sure you don't?" She retorted back, turning the engine on causing me to jump a bit, which was out of character for me on my part but damn was this a bit scary.

I sighed, calming down as she drove, eventually falling asleep 15 minutes after driving. I hadn't even noticed, until I could see it.

The ocean, it was so calm and beautiful. It reminded me of Eren's eyes the way the current flowed softly.

I closed my eyes and let the breeze flow from behind me, as I listened carefully.

"Levi…" I heard a child's voice whisper, as I felt myself twitch slightly.

"Leeeevi!" It called again, laughing, as I heard someone running toward me in the sand.

"Leviiiiiii!" The voice yelled in my ear, causing me to violently fling my eyes open.

"Isabella!" I yelled, sucking in a harsh breath causing me to choke.

"Levi!" Petra screamed, as she swerved.

It took me a minute to realize what was happening as our car flew in the air upside down, glass everywhere.

For what seemed like forever, everything was in slow motion as I watched in horror.

Then, all was black, as I passed out.

When I woke it was still dark. Debris was everywhere and I couldn't make out anything.

"L..Levi.." I heard softly, as I turned around and saw Petra against a tree with a giant glass shard in her stomach.

"Petra!" I yelled, trying to get up but falling with killing pain. I looked back to see my leg trapped under the car.

Without thinking I pulled forcefully, my leg freeing with a sickening break.

I crawled over to her, assessing myself in my thoughts.

 _Three… No four cracked ribs. Broken leg, dislocated shoulder, gash above my right eye.. and something lodged in my side._

I took this knowledge and stored it for later dragging myself to Petra best I could.

"L..Levi…Levi….It hurts.. It hurts so much.." She whispered, bleeding badly as tears ran down her soft face.

"I know. I know. Shh.." I whispered, propping myself next to her, putting an arm around her.

"It's okay, you're going to be okay. You here me?" I whispered soothingly, trying to keep her distracted* as I quickly took out the glass, immediately putting my hand over top of her wound as she let out a yelp.

"Shh it's going to be okay.." I whispered again, as she rested her head on my shoulder, shaking.

I brushed my hand over her hair as I gently held her, looking around to see Gunter, Auruo, and Erd not far on the ground looking mangled and still.

I let out a harsh slow breath and closed my eyes, kissing the top of her head. "It's going to be okay" I repeated, holding her tightly.

"Promise…" She whispered, still shaking, her breath slowly and her body temperature dropping fast.

I closed my eyes tightly, brushing my hand through her hair repeatedly to keep her calm. I wanted her to go peacefully, and with little pain as I whispered gently to her.

"I promise…."

With that, I felt her body go still, her breath no more and her skin cold, as I continued to rub her hair.

"Petra…?" I whispered.

 _ **No response.**_

And with that, my friends all left me alone, as I smiled, closing my eyes feeling myself too drift off to wherever.

 _Sorry Eren…_

 **v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v**

 **Well since I** _ **am**_ **back I might as well fuck with you all right?**

 **Anyway thanks again for being with me even though I've kinda been here and there lately**

 **It was REALLY touch and go for this one so this took me a month cause a lot of things have been happening**

 **Gomen though ;-;**

 **I have sooo many midterms (WHICH I GOT 97 ON MY JAPANESE MIDTERM. FUCK YAS)**

 *** = Mom's kitchen was a joke about Eren's mom.. and let's just say it got fucking BAAAAD.. heuheu**

 *** = I had to fucking look up what a car railing was called. And car railing? That's dumb ;-;**

 *** = I wrote istracted and at first and it never fucking corrected me till like much later when I got a random *ping* "YOU GOT A TYPO. HEH LMAO GOT YA" Fuck me. ;-;**


	9. Tumblr Biatches!

Alright guys so a few people PM'd me asking if I'd make a fan base for the Silent Shadow series but one problem:

*DUN DUN DUN*

Who's actually going to use it? xD

So I suppose this will be where you can all fan, ask questions, talk to me and "Wolfie", and some of the other people I collab with, or just hang out and talk with me 'nd each other. So here we go guys! and I'll try to make other accounts on other things too but no promises mk?

The link is in my profile guys so make sure to check that out, and I'll see ya in the next chapter!

xoxo! Wolfie & Nagisa 3

(Also sorry this got all fucked up no need to worry ya'll bitches 3)


	10. AHHHHHH!

**Alright guys we have a major problem.**

 **So recently I finally finished the newest chapter, and I was quite proud of it when suddenly:**

 **My word doc is gone!**

 **And I just don't mean likes "Ooh it's missin'. Where'd it go bruvs"**

 **Likes it's gone gone..**

 **The whole thing deleted form me computer**

 ** _Crying In Japanese_**

 **So I guess I'm going to have to rewrite that WHOOOLE thing, though I don't remember much so**

 **I'm so so sorry guys, though I did have to let you all know.**

 **I'm not dead**

 ** _yet_**

 **I'm just lost my shit and I gotta redo everything.**

 **So thanks guys! and once again I'm SOOOO sorry.**

 **Love you all!**

 **Wolfie xoxo**

 **Nagisa xoxo**


	11. Whoops

**Alrighty so I've fucked up badly guys.**

 **So I know it's been a long time and a lot of people have been waiting for me to post the newest chapter but,**

 **I've just had so much work n shit to do. It's gotten pretty hectic n shit and I just had my keystones today and I just wanna diiiiiiiie uuugh.**

 **I honestly hate testing, and to make it worse. I had detention today, yayyyy... ;-;**

 **So**

 **I'm probably going to start this again when summer comes, and my hours for school and work will be less (especially school thank jesus),**

 **BUT UNTIL THEN!**

 **du du du duuuu**

 **I'm going to create a somewhat other story just to occupy my time so look out for that n all.**

 **Trust me, it's just as depressing and angsty as this one (though frankly I made this way before Silent Shadows and I just never did shit with it)**

 **So I'm probably gonna put some of those oh and by the way,**

 **Nope I never got to redownload my word doc so, fml, kms, annnnnd ily?**

 **Alrightly bye guys, I'll keep you informed or some shit.**

 **xoxox**

 **Wolfie n' Nagisa**


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